Last week’s topic really resonated with a lot of my clients and with my own journey to LighterLife.
We talked about times where you’ve eaten something only to later feel regret for it. Some of the reasons for this were things like boredom, stress, unhappiness, expectations, etc. What didn’t really come up was hunger.
I think there’s a reason for this. As a real generalisation, being overweight is not because of hunger, it’s because of all that other stuff…
So how do we gain control of it?
The most interesting part of the group for me was the question “what alternative things could you say to yourself”, because it forces a focus on the future and dares you to imagine a time where food is no longer an emotional crutch but something with which you could have a healthy relationship. Wow!
Speaking for myself, I notice if I choose to eat something which is not part of the Total plan, I tend to go for the jugular with myself. Thoughts centred around failure and having ruined all my progress run through my mind as a constant, belittling narrative. What do I do to escape these thoughts? I tend to eat. How about you?
The difficulty I’ve had has been walking the fine line between being nicer to myself and at the same time not allowing myself to “get away with it”. I’ve mentioned before that my brain seems hardwired to find any excuse to eat, so it’s a balancing act.
Regardless of your relationship with your brain when it comes to food, reframing the thought processes is infinitely helpful. For some, the feeling of failure or eating one thing ruining your whole week, comes from a persistent striving for perfection.
I hate to tell you this but, perfection doesn’t exist – not even in you!
To quote Oasis: “true perfection has to be imperfect”
It is in learning to accept we will sometimes eat something off plan, that maintaining a loss becomes much more achievable. Instead of a single pudding sending us reeling and gaining for five years, it could actually be a single pudding.
If a child is learning to read and doesn’t know how to say “cat”, do we immediately pull them out of school and tell them they can’t go back until they’re in the right mindset? Of course not – we do know mistakes will happen in the learning process. And you are learning; maybe not how to read but you’re learning how to change the habits of a lifetime, which I think is pretty damn amazing of you. And so should you.